Soul Dose

I've seen the devil's eyes, filled with hatred and hungry for torment.
I looked in those eyes, I was just a little girl.
Each touch, no each yank left a bruise on my skin,
each drag made me scream out loud,
But my heart was suffering the most, in a fog I could not understand.

A slap across my face followed by hard shut up words,
The smell of his skin suffocating me, but brought him to a smile.
I looked in the eyes of hatred, wondering what was my crime.
Till I found myself facing a knife, I wasn't even 5.
So this was new, but I knew it was evil at it's best.

Send me down my angel, flung him down, throw him down.
I need help, get me down my angel because my soul is bruising.
During the short years of my life, I had been told about angels.
Where is mine now, I need mine before it's too late.
Just a few minutes ago I had been playing with my teddy,
Now I have my head pinned to the dirty ground, I'm only a little girl.

Minutes later I'm sleeping on the ground, clutching my bear.
My clothes are dirty because of the dragging,
My body is in pain, the kind I never knew existed,
And my soul is filled with hatred and burning with anger.
This body is in pain, this little girl is traumatized,
But my heart, my heart is shattered into a million pieces,
I cry myself to sleep on the floor, clutching my brown bear.

I do not know my stand; I do not know who I am.

I cannot tell of my being, I am trying to find my feet.

I cannot separate my truth from the worlds,

My feet are not firmly planted on this earth.

I am just a 26 year young woman,

I am trying to find my true self.

My dark skin is not who I am,

My hair is not gonna be my crowning glory,

Not for one more day.

My smile is not gonna define me,

I need to find the true soul within.

My clothes are not gonna give me value,

My eyes are not gonna tell them what I want,

My stride is not gonna be interpreted as something else,

It is just the way I put my foot in front of the other.

I will scream out when the mood allows,

I will hide out when company gets too much.

I will wear black when they all wear white,

I will sing and dance to my heart’s rhythm.

I am only a 26 year old woman,

And my soul I will find and embrace.

I do not know my future; I cannot predict tomorrow,

I do not know the sorrow that awaits me,

Tomorrow might be harder than today.

This woman of 26 is not gonna hide in the shadows,

I am gonna face my tomorrow with new found hope.

I may not know the future; time might take me far or near.

I will stand up and be counted; finding myself in the process.

My tomorrow might bring me joy,

And light up my life for the world to see,

But today I am preparing for anything,

Making myself strong for whatever may come my way.

I am just a woman of 26; the world is mine for the taking.

Prepared; that is what I am.

Determined; it is all I can feel deep inside.

Finding myself, I will do it step by step,

Day by day, the soul within will emerge,

Because I am a woman of 26,

I am looking for the true person inside.

Her name is mystery, her eyes are dark,
Her coat is long, her destiny unknown,
Her sorrow runs deep, her fears hidden,
This girl is a hero, yet no one can tell.

Her arms are inviting, her lips are sealed,
Her chest is warm, her legs are strong,
Her journey long, her path not clear,
This girl is a woman, slowly finding herself.

Who knows her struggle, no one sees her tears.
Who notices when her clouds turn the shade of grey?
Who picks up the pieces of her heart?
Who paves her way and clears the dirt?
No one can, no one sees her struggle because
This woman is strong; she can keep it all in.

Now her name is joy, her name is strength,
Now her skirt is shorter, her eyes shine bright,
Now her sorrow is gone, her future looks bright,
This girl is a hero, she’s done it again.

(My nomination for this week is Jaymie, she'a amazing)

I’ve seen I have a life ahead of me,
Years of happiness and laughter.
I’ve felt the greatest touch,
The magical everlasting touch
And since that hour,
Even my heart is smiling.

I saw God in my dreams,
He showed himself in a form only
he knew I could relate to,
My dear deceased grandfather.
But no, that was him sent by God.
He was an instrument, which delivered the
right message without uttering a word.

After a dream like that one wonders.
Why do I ever get the sad down days?
Everyday, every hour, every minute.
God is right beside me, right here beside me
Protecting me during every shake
Covering my every fall and gentle.
Yes gentle telling me to hold on.