Soul Dose

For  years I've had a problem with my speech, to be honest my voice has a problem with me, meaning it deserts me when I have no beef with it.. I think I had a nice voice, it wasn't too high or too low BUT I was a very fast talker.  I'd just go "papa di pap pap" and my mom would say I talk like I swallowed the tv and the radio all at once... So you see I was talented, ha ha ha.

But then when I got sick my speech got affected as well. It started slowly and I had this belief that it was a passing thing. I'd think no no no not my speech, take whatever but not that... But you see I wasn't in charge, I wasn't in control, all I could do  was hold on to the belief that one day I was gonna wake up and this would all be over. Months went by and my tongue got tighter, I 'd struggle to move from one word to the next and would struggle to start and finish a word. It seemed to get worse when I had the headaches. As an accounting student let me explain it this way:

I'd get the horrible headache, speech would diminish.

Next time I get that type of headache, speech will diminish once more.

And so on and so on.

It couldn't climb up a level it kept going down.

Till one day I couldn't speak at all, I could only write and that was my only way to communicate, which sucked because talking is my thing, was my thing.

So over the years my speech has come and gone come and gone, but even when it's back I can't sound like my old self, I can barely finish one word and a sentence well you get the picture...... For people unfortunate enough to be talking to me it's frustrating because they struggle to understand. There I am thinking damn I'm nailing this but the next person is busy trying to figure out what I just said.

That was my little speech story. Maybe one day I'll be able to talk like before, maybe I'll be able to hold word conversation but till then, my phone texter is my best friend and I'm good with that..................... Hey who knows, maybe not being able saves me from saying the wrong things and keeps me innocent