Soul Dose

Wow I have had the worst couple of days and it's really disturbing because my family says what I see as the worst is nothing compared to what I can't remember, they're telling me this is usually how the real trouble starts and I can't help but wonder if they're right. Their being right means this is the beginning of what I don't wanna see. So let me start by telling you about my past few days and then I'll go back to the point of this website. As you know it's exam time and that's why I haven't posted anything the last few days, but that's only part of it. You see I've tried studying but each time I even read the first page I get the migraine and if I keep ignoring it I get a nose bleed and before I can really do anything about it my head shocks come back and knock me out cold. What are head shocks? Well it's like this, you know at the very top of my head I get this shock like an electric shock and then my ears start ringing and if someone else places their ear on mine they say they can hear the noise that sounds like someone is busy tearing a piece of cloth inside there. Ok this doesn't make sense but it's really how the noise sounds even to me. I get the migraine and the nose bleed and the head shocks, then I start fainting every 30 minutes or so. I can't wake up without being given extra oxygen because I can't breathe on my own. They give me the oxygen till I cough and wake up, they help me get cleaned up and pick me up from the floor back to my bed and I try to study some more. Not a very good study session wouldn't you agree? The thing is whenever I stop breathing my family worry, when I wake up I also worry because Lord knows why I stop breathing in the first place. It's not a safe life, it's not an easy life but it's my life and I have to live it to the best of my ability. On Wednesday I managed to write Accounting, the university sent an invigilator to supervise my paper and watch while I wrote. It wasn't easy and I couldn't finish. I write very slowly and can barely hold a pen, so I concentrated on questions I knew the answers to and skipped the ones I knew nothing about;). 2 hours later she took the paper and left, I was proud of myself for writing and yes a lot of time got wasted when I fainted twice but I believe I'll get the 50% needed for a pass. Unfortunately I got too sick to write the Friday paper and I won't be able to write today's as well. I haven't given up on the 30th's paper and I'll keep trying to study for it some more. It ain't over till the clouds turn green and as far as I can tell they've never been green;) But I won't deny this, I'm sick and I'm getting worse every hour, I'm losing weight like it's fashionable and I shake like I'm having fits whenever I'm about to stop breathing and faint... I thank God for my family everyday!