Soul Dose
My struggle with illness And .... Journey into healing.
Blog
A Whisper, A Nudge, Now A Yank
| Posted on November 11, 2009 at 2:38 PM |
This journey I'm on is hard, it is very hard and there are a lot of down and too few ups, I get thrown down and sometimes get my hopes up only to come crashing down and breaking the ground that's under me.
I have the faith, an open heart, the desire, if I were looking for a man they'd refer to this as "She's out there, totally out there". What I'm trying to say is these past few days I've been getting worse, first it prevented me from finishing my exams, then I thought no I can still try on the 30th but no, I'm getting worse.
My problem is not the illness part, I'm used to that part now but the one part I hate is not being able to talk to my nephew, he comes into my room, hugs me and put his head on my tummy, he talks and asks his million questions but all I do is smile. I can't even write to the kid, he's 6 and can only read one words at this point.
That's him, just look at this face..................... Ah he makes everyday worth it.
I'm disappointed because I was doing a lot better. I felt it though, I started feeling dizzy and then the swelling up of the legs, the vomiting, the swelling up of my tummy, the shaking, all those things were saying "Hey you" and I paid attention, but without the proper diagnosis all the attention paying isn't accurate.
Today may be hard, tomorrow may be dark, but one day the light will shine so bright it will blind my eyes... In a good way
Categories: The Present.... How I Am Now, Feeling Down, These Sick Days
Post a Comment
- Oops, you forgot something.
16 Comments
I know he loves you a lot more than anybody else in his little world. He calls you his mom and calls me his mom Lindelwa, lol. His birthday is coming, I hope you knows that's your problem and in case you haven't heard, it's been your problem all these years. Last year you were too sick to celebrate so you gave me money to take him out, I remember how he made sure we all remembered you did it not us.
I'm glad he has you in his life, two mothers are always better than one.
I'm glad he has you in his life, two mothers are always better than one.
Mel says...
Oh, I like the secret code thing! And what kiddo doesn't like secret codes (and random adults as well...LOL).
He is a cutie.
And yaknow--one of the greatest gifts you can give is the gift if listening. He come to you for a reason.
Hang in there. It's got to be disappointing and frustrating to take some steps forward only to find yourself going backwards again--hopefully it's simply a speed bump telling you to slow it down a bit.
Yup I'm one of the random adults (blushing)
This weekend he gave me a pen and notebook, then started counting everything he'd like to have for his birthday December 22, now we're distribute the list to unfortunate buyers, from me he asked for a Ben10 t-shirt, I don't even know what Ben10 is.
Oh, I like the secret code thing! And what kiddo doesn't like secret codes (and random adults as well...LOL).
He is a cutie.
And yaknow--one of the greatest gifts you can give is the gift if listening. He come to you for a reason.
Hang in there. It's got to be disappointing and frustrating to take some steps forward only to find yourself going backwards again--hopefully it's simply a speed bump telling you to slow it down a bit.
He is a cutie.
And yaknow--one of the greatest gifts you can give is the gift if listening. He come to you for a reason.
Hang in there. It's got to be disappointing and frustrating to take some steps forward only to find yourself going backwards again--hopefully it's simply a speed bump telling you to slow it down a bit.
Tawnya Smith/Yousei Hime says...
Dear brave and brilliant young woman,
I have read through a majority of your blog. What a wonderful family you have! I am so proud of your spirit and determination. As I read I noticed you said your mother has been sick as well. I kept wondering, though I'm no doctor, have you all been tested for types of poisons? Lead in particular. I looked up symptoms in Wikipedia:
Acute poisoning
In acute poisoning, typical neurological signs are pain, muscle weakness, paraesthesia, and, rarely, symptoms associated with encephalitis.[15] Abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and constipation are other acute symptoms.[23] Lead's effects on the mouth include astringency and a metallic taste.[23] Gastrointestinal problems, such as constipation, diarrhea, poor appetite, or weight loss, are common in acute poisoning. Absorption of large amounts of lead over a short time can cause shock (insufficient fluid in the circulatory system) due to loss of water from the gastrointestinal tract.[23] Hemolysis (the rupture of red blood cells) due to acute poisoning can cause anemia and hemoglobin in the urine.[23] Damage to kidneys can cause changes in urination such as decreased urine output.[23] People who survive acute poisoning often go on to display symptoms of chronic poisoning.[23]
[edit] Chronic poisoning
Chronic poisoning usually presents with symptoms affecting multiple systems,[9] but is associated with three main types of symptoms: gastrointestinal, neuromuscular, and neurological.[15] Central nervous system and neuromuscular symptoms usually result from intense exposure, while gastrointestinal symptoms usually result from exposure over longer periods.[23] Signs of chronic exposure include loss of short-term memory or concentration, depression, nausea, abdominal pain, loss of coordination, and numbness and tingling in the extremities.[18] Fatigue, problems with sleep, headaches, stupor, slurred speech, and anemia are also found in chronic lead poisoning.[15] A "lead hue" of the skin with pallor is another feature.[24] A blue line along the gum, with bluish black edging to the teeth is another indication of chronic lead poisoning.[
So many of these sound like what you have described. Thank you for visiting my blog (Shiteki na Usagi). You are an encouragement to me, and I hope I can be for you as well.
My mother got sick before I was born, which makes what I'm telling you what I also heard.
We were told she was diagnosed with meningitis at the time, but maybe she'll benefit from seeing a neurologist as well.
Again, thank you for taking time and for the visit.
Tawnya Smith/Yousei Hime says...
Dear brave and brilliant young woman,
I have read through a majority of your blog. What a wonderful family you have! I am so proud of your spirit and determination. As I read I noticed you said your mother has been sick as well. I kept wondering, though I'm no doctor, have you all been tested for types of poisons? Lead in particular. I looked up symptoms in Wikipedia:
Acute poisoning
In acute poisoning, typical neurological signs are pain, muscle weakness, paraesthesia, and, rarely, symptoms associated with encephalitis.[15] Abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and constipation are other acute symptoms.[23] Lead's effects on the mouth include astringency and a metallic taste.[23] Gastrointestinal problems, such as constipation, diarrhea, poor appetite, or weight loss, are common in acute poisoning. Absorption of large amounts of lead over a short time can cause shock (insufficient fluid in the circulatory system) due to loss of water from the gastrointestinal tract.[23] Hemolysis (the rupture of red blood cells) due to acute poisoning can cause anemia and hemoglobin in the urine.[23] Damage to kidneys can cause changes in urination such as decreased urine output.[23] People who survive acute poisoning often go on to display symptoms of chronic poisoning.[23]
[edit] Chronic poisoning
Chronic poisoning usually presents with symptoms affecting multiple systems,[9] but is associated with three main types of symptoms: gastrointestinal, neuromuscular, and neurological.[15] Central nervous system and neuromuscular symptoms usually result from intense exposure, while gastrointestinal symptoms usually result from exposure over longer periods.[23] Signs of chronic exposure include loss of short-term memory or concentration, depression, nausea, abdominal pain, loss of coordination, and numbness and tingling in the extremities.[18] Fatigue, problems with sleep, headaches, stupor, slurred speech, and anemia are also found in chronic lead poisoning.[15] A "lead hue" of the skin with pallor is another feature.[24] A blue line along the gum, with bluish black edging to the teeth is another indication of chronic lead poisoning.[
So many of these sound like what you have described. Thank you for visiting my blog (Shiteki na Usagi). You are an encouragement to me, and I hope I can be for you as well.
Hello Tawnya, first of all thank you very very very much for taking time and researching all this, you took time out of your busy day and you went above and beyond for us, thank you very much you're an angel.
When I was first taken to a neurologist he tested what you mentioned and was convinced I have nerve problems or some sort of poisoning. Tests were done but only a few............... Next time I went to another and he also suspected the same thing, this one did all the necessary tests and was confused when everything came back clean.
I'll make a post about this as soon as I can get the full info from Mom Ndu and the doctor, and after reading your comment I'd like to have all the tests again and see the results for myself because the memory of doing these particular tests flew away when I got the amnesia. But your comment has made me wanna see for myself, not that I don't believe my family.
Thank you for this, you're an angel.
Luisa Doraz says...
I want to play along, too! No fair! Keep me posted!
For sure, you are the inventor, and you will go down in our books as The Woman, lol
Reply
Tawnya Smith/Yousei Hime
07:51 AM on November 13, 2009
Dear brave and brilliant young woman,
I have read through a majority of your blog. What a wonderful family you have! I am so proud of your spirit and determination. As I read I noticed you said your mother has been sick as well. I kept wondering, though I'm no doctor, have you all been tested for types of poisons? Lead in particular. I looked up symptoms in Wikipedia:
Acute poisoning
In acute poisoning, typical neurological signs are pain, muscle weakness, paraesthesia, and, rarely, symptoms associated with encephalitis.[15] Abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and constipation are other acute symptoms.[23] Lead's effects on the mouth include astringency and a metallic taste.[23] Gastrointestinal problems, such as constipation, diarrhea, poor appetite, or weight loss, are common in acute poisoning. Absorption of large amounts of lead over a short time can cause shock (insufficient fluid in the circulatory system) due to loss of water from the gastrointestinal tract.[23] Hemolysis (the rupture of red blood cells) due to acute poisoning can cause anemia and hemoglobin in the urine.[23] Damage to kidneys can cause changes in urination such as decreased urine output.[23] People who survive acute poisoning often go on to display symptoms of chronic poisoning.[23]
[edit] Chronic poisoning
Chronic poisoning usually presents with symptoms affecting multiple systems,[9] but is associated with three main types of symptoms: gastrointestinal, neuromuscular, and neurological.[15] Central nervous system and neuromuscular symptoms usually result from intense exposure, while gastrointestinal symptoms usually result from exposure over longer periods.[23] Signs of chronic exposure include loss of short-term memory or concentration, depression, nausea, abdominal pain, loss of coordination, and numbness and tingling in the extremities.[18] Fatigue, problems with sleep, headaches, stupor, slurred speech, and anemia are also found in chronic lead poisoning.[15] A "lead hue" of the skin with pallor is another feature.[24] A blue line along the gum, with bluish black edging to the teeth is another indication of chronic lead poisoning.[
So many of these sound like what you have described. Thank you for visiting my blog (Shiteki na Usagi). You are an encouragement to me, and I hope I can be for you as well.
I have read through a majority of your blog. What a wonderful family you have! I am so proud of your spirit and determination. As I read I noticed you said your mother has been sick as well. I kept wondering, though I'm no doctor, have you all been tested for types of poisons? Lead in particular. I looked up symptoms in Wikipedia:
Acute poisoning
In acute poisoning, typical neurological signs are pain, muscle weakness, paraesthesia, and, rarely, symptoms associated with encephalitis.[15] Abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and constipation are other acute symptoms.[23] Lead's effects on the mouth include astringency and a metallic taste.[23] Gastrointestinal problems, such as constipation, diarrhea, poor appetite, or weight loss, are common in acute poisoning. Absorption of large amounts of lead over a short time can cause shock (insufficient fluid in the circulatory system) due to loss of water from the gastrointestinal tract.[23] Hemolysis (the rupture of red blood cells) due to acute poisoning can cause anemia and hemoglobin in the urine.[23] Damage to kidneys can cause changes in urination such as decreased urine output.[23] People who survive acute poisoning often go on to display symptoms of chronic poisoning.[23]
[edit] Chronic poisoning
Chronic poisoning usually presents with symptoms affecting multiple systems,[9] but is associated with three main types of symptoms: gastrointestinal, neuromuscular, and neurological.[15] Central nervous system and neuromuscular symptoms usually result from intense exposure, while gastrointestinal symptoms usually result from exposure over longer periods.[23] Signs of chronic exposure include loss of short-term memory or concentration, depression, nausea, abdominal pain, loss of coordination, and numbness and tingling in the extremities.[18] Fatigue, problems with sleep, headaches, stupor, slurred speech, and anemia are also found in chronic lead poisoning.[15] A "lead hue" of the skin with pallor is another feature.[24] A blue line along the gum, with bluish black edging to the teeth is another indication of chronic lead poisoning.[
So many of these sound like what you have described. Thank you for visiting my blog (Shiteki na Usagi). You are an encouragement to me, and I hope I can be for you as well.
Reply
Luisa Doraz
11:01 PM on November 12, 2009
I want to play along, too! No fair! Keep me posted! b
b
Luisa Doraz says...
OMG...He is PRECIOUS! I bet he is very smart! I have an idea that worked for me, so I hope it works for you. Ready, make up your own secret language using whatever might be easy for you. Make it easy and something that can be used over and over again. It will be your own special way to "talk." He will love it! I hope I have made sense with what I said. You are dedicated. You will win!
You've made perfect sense, which kid doesn't like playing "Secret Code?" We used to do it in high school but the complicated kind... I love this idea thank you, and he'll think it's super cool.
We'll start this weekend..I'm so excited.. Thanks, kisses.
Reply
Luisa Doraz
09:40 PM on November 12, 2009
OMG...He is PRECIOUS! I bet he is very smart! I have an idea that worked for me, so I hope it works for you. Ready, make up your own secret language using whatever might be easy for you. Make it easy and something that can be used over and over again. It will be your own special way to "talk." He will love it! I hope I have made sense with what I said. You are dedicated. You will win!
You are dedicated. You will win!
blissbait says...
He is ADORABLE! I can't imagine how frustrating that must be, but I am certain he feels Your love and Your beautiful heart. I'm sorry things are more challenging at the moment. You are amazing and strong and You bring such Joy...I wish You more light and ease than You know what to do with. Thank You for sharing Yourself...
Namaste.
It is big time but as for him I don't think he even notices, he's always too busy talking and hitting me with question after question while I write to someone else so they can read for him, and as you can imagine my answers come back when he has moved to the next question, lol. And whenever my speech returns a little we always make sure we talk and talk and talk. He's my heart.
Thank you for the visit.
Reply
blissbait
11:37 AM on November 12, 2009
He is ADORABLE! I can't imagine how frustrating that must be, but I am certain he feels Your love and Your beautiful heart. I'm sorry things are more challenging at the moment. You are amazing and strong and You bring such Joy...I wish You more light and ease than You know what to do with. Thank You for sharing Yourself...
Namaste.
Namaste.
jaymie@jaymiethorne.com says...
He is beautiful, like his aunt. Thank you for being out there, totally out there. You inspire me to quit my whining, be thankful, and get out there myself. I hope we all find ourselves in that bright light.
I've always told my sister this kid takes after me, lol.
Thank you for making it easier for me to be out there, it's not always easy to open up and talk to people but you make it easy.
Summer Rain says...
He is a very cute little boy...maybe you could draw him pictures sometimes....
Will be wishing the best for you and your journey....
That's a good idea and if it doesn't work out we can always just have fun painting together.
He is beautiful, like his aunt. Thank you for being out there, totally out there. You inspire me to quit my whining, be thankful, and get out there myself. I hope we all find ourselves in that bright light.
Reply
Summer Rain
03:23 PM on November 11, 2009
He is a very cute little boy...maybe you could draw him pictures sometimes....
Will be wishing the best for you and your journey....
Will be wishing the best for you and your journey....
Categories
Recent Blog Entries
5 comments
9 comments
6 comments
10 comments
Newest Members
Awards From Friends
Thank You Coco
Thank you Doraz, Alina, Bliss bait, Jaymie and my girl Tasneem.
A thankful bow to Doraz,
This is an honor Jaymie, Thank you.
Thanks Yousei Hime, You Rock.
This is an honor Doraz, Merci
I'm humbled Jingle and Yousei Hime, you inspire me.
Gifts From Friends
Gift From Doraz, Thank You
Gift From ScentedSummer
Mercie Beaucoup
Birthday Gift/Post from Doraz
Thank You So Much
You're The Best
Webs Counter
Super Share
RSS & Feed Reader
