Soul Dose

I’ve wanted to write a new post since yesterday, I tried to write a new post 4 times since yesterday but my health these days not only made it hard, my eyes made it worse. So what’s going on?  

It’s no big deal, I have been feeling weaker and weaker, then of course I started swelling up. I hate it when that happens because I know it means I have a hard time and it just started. My face is looking a little funny really, all swollen and ugly but my stomach is even funnier. Whenever my nephew sees it like this he walks in and pats it while the words “you’re having a baby too mom” roll out of his mouth. I laugh and sometimes I nod my head just to humour him and boy does he get excited. That kid is a big ball of sweet.

Yesterday I saw a doctor, not one of the doctors I usually see but a new one this time. I figured  adding one more cannot do any harm. I took all my records and when we got to his rooms we couldn’t get in, they are upstairs and you have to climb long stairs to reach him. There’s no lift, so we sat and tried to map out our plan but the only thing that seemed logical was to turn and go see another doctor……. As we were getting ready to leave the person who was with me decided to go talk to the doctor, and within 5 minutes the doctor and his nurse came to see me in  the car. I wasn’t sold on the idea but the pains in my body were screaming “at least get an injection and go to bed.”

When the doctor started flipping though my records and doing a lot of nodding. I closed my eyes and prayed he finds a test we haven’t taken or notices something out of the ordinary, I prayed for him to pick up something other doctors missed and when he made notes I thought yes he found something, but I was wrong.

He suggested I get lifted into his rooms while my wheelchair followed, it was hard on the person who did the lifting but I‘m thankful…… The examination was the  usual and even though I was and am still swollen, even though my stomach looks dark and big, even though my head is pounding and my eyes can barely see, his results came back as clean as all my results always come back and I put my hand on my eyes  and hid my tears once again……………………….. I’m asking and was asking for an answer, a miracle, a little red flag to follow up on but again was given clean results. Maybe this will sound silly but I’d prefer to know I have this and this, at this point I’d take whatever I can get.

Then something totally new happened, I’ll post about it tomorrow because I’m  not doing so good right now.

Stay Beautiful………..Cheers