Soul Dose

These days my health has taken a dive and updating the site is not an easy thing, though I find it helpful to get my thoughts and feelings down, the actual simple process of switching on a laptop and typing is very hard at the moment, not to mention my eyes. They have this constant flashy thing going on and I don’t know how to explain it properly so please bear with me as I give it a shot…. My eyes get tired a lot quicker these days, then they start having a disturbing and blinding flash of some sort. It keeps flashing almost like the way a camera does when you’re taking a picture, except it’s in the eyes and making my vision blurred. Fortunately it comes and goes, I have an appointment with the eye dude this Friday.

Alright I got help writing this post, I wanted write down all the tests I’ve had and the doctors I’ve seen and am seeing. I got the info from my records and also from the doctors I’ve been seeing since I got the amnesia. This is the info that was right here in my boudoir, the other records are at the doctors.

I’ve had the following:

• Gastroscopy - because when I first got sick my stomach was the most problematic along with my head, they still are. It was done by a doctor at a private hospital call La Verna in Ladysmith, South Africa. The results came back only showing hunger but nothing out of the ordinary. * Flexible Sigmoidoscopy - it was also done to find out why my abdomen was so painful and I was forever constipated. 

• Lumber Punch - it was done because one General Practitioner suspected meningitis and transferred me to another private hospital in Pietermaritzburg. From what I heard my biggest complaint was how painful the thing is and I hated it… Results again came back clean and eventually they sent me home. 

• CAT Scan - a search for tumors and what not, another failure. 

• MRI Scan - It was done very late because we thought a cat scan was enough but turns out it’s not… It is expensive and the family was already broke because of a lot of my costs but they put money together and I got the test. It was done at St. Annes, a very good private hospital and again the results came back squeaky clean.
  

• HIV Test - I’ve had this test a number of times because each doctor wants to see for himself/herself before treating me…. Results always come back negative.

Alright, I should mention that I reached a point where I was tired of tests and needles and scans and drips, I wanted non anymore and for a long time I stayed at home and only went to a GP when I really needed to. But a lot of factors, family, will to live, seeing I was still alive, desire to watch my nephew grow up, and my beautiful stranger came into my life and I realized hey I wanna beat this thing, I wasn't done living yet.

I started going to specialists again and my first one was:

• Neurologist - well we first made a mistake and went to a neurosurgeon, he couldn’t help us so we booked an appointment and went to a neurologist. They thought I had some form of nervous system disorder. My seizures were the biggest problem, also the dizziness, vomiting, the eating problem, the involuntary jerking of my body especially my leg and just about everything........................................ The neurologist did a complete neurological evaluation and follow up, after all the testing the doctor said he couldn’t put me on any medication because the tests revealed nothing. So we hightailed our behinds out of there.
  

Then I developed heart pains and a few months ago I went to see a

• Cardiologist in St. Annes, I remember this visit because it happened in June. We got there and did all the necessary tests, he asked had I been seen by a neurologist because all my symptoms tell me that’ who I need to see and we said yes. But you know me and curiosity, I wanted to see the dude again to satisfy that “What If” at the back of my mind. The cardiologist finished his exam and immediately called the neurologist, within 30 minutes I had these sticky things all over my body and the nurse was shocking me and that part of my body would move, it was uncomfortable but also great fun, hahaha, ...........Seriously, as soon as I got used to it I started liking that tingle. Alright I know I’m a weirdo……………………. !!!

When everything was done and we finally got the results, I really believed he was gonna say well Silindile, you has such and such in your body but again he couldn't find the cause of all my problems.

To manage my day-to-day life I go to a General Practitioner when my pains get too much or when I develop feet sores of I have flu or my arm starts doing what it does best. I have a specific GP in every place I live in, II have one I see when with my grandma, another when I'm at my parent's house and another when I'm at Mom Ndu's place.

From the records I saw that I have been tested for poisoning, I tested for lead poisoning but I'm trying to get another test just to see for myself... Another test I'd like to repeat is the MRI but at the moment we can't afford it... The last one is the gastric one because my stomach is really behaving badly, the swelling and deflating, the one day up the next day down and painless is worrying me.

For now I have to switch off the computer and get some rest, I can barely see what I'm writing and I'm really sorry if what I've written makes no sense and is riddled with spelling mistakes.

My prayer these days "Lord please, let the doctors find something wrong with me, it doesn't matter what it is, how small or how big, reveal it because then I can get a chance to be cured"