Soul Dose

When I first woke up with my amnesia and started hearing stories about what used to happen when I got really really sick I thought no there's no way those things can happen to a person over 3 times every hour, that person would either be dead by now, or my brain would be mush or my family is exaggerating... But within an hour I started going through them again but thought nah it's a passing thing.

But these past few months are knocking me down like there's no tomorrow and the thing is I'm getting worse but there's nothing I can do about it. It's like I'm watching a meteor heading straight for my house but tired to the spot where it'll hit. Every month gets worse than the last and the shaking has gotten so violent and so frequent it leaves my whole body in excruciating pain, only to hit me just when the pain is starting to go down.

It's been tough to see myself going through the very thing my amnesia made me forget and my biggest worry is the shocking sensation right at the top of my head that just won't quit, yeah it comes with migraines but I'm used to them, the shocks are my main concern.

When this thing started getting out of hand I got kinda depressed and about a month ago I lashed out at Mr Man, it was stupid and I'm sorry honey, I know I've said it and it's in the past but saying it again is the right thing... I was really at a bad place and had a bad day but still I shouldn't have taken out my frustrations on you... I love you.

So I've realized that this illness is blowing up, I'm hardly able to blog but because I love it so much I came out with a plan that will keep me in blog-ville, you'll see in a few days my friends.

I've been asking God for an answer to my problem, asking him to heal me but I've realized there's a reason why this happened to me, God hears my prayers and if he didn't I'd be long gone by now, I know he hears me and he has a plan for me. I don't understand it at the moment but tonight instead of asking for the same thing I ask for every time I'm gonna tell him I'm ready for whatever he has planned for me, I'm ready to keep the faith and to stay positive still.

For a few days I was sad, really sad and wondering when will this be over, but now I'm okay and I'm just waking up each morning on the floor, laughing about it as soon as I'm breathing and living my day in this rollercoaster but it's mine and God has a plan behind all this...... And that, my friends, keep me waking up each day no matter how hard it is, burying my head in the covers works for one day in many months but it's not who I am or who I want this journey to turn me into, so I wake up, say a prayer, look at my goal list and let the day begin.

                              Bye For Now And Stay Beautiful...!!!